


Reassurance

by Cristinuke



Series: Nightmares [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, But not on purpose, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 22:25:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7863574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cristinuke/pseuds/Cristinuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky wakes up desperate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reassurance

**Author's Note:**

> See end notes for more explanation on the tags

 

And then there times like this, when Bucky would wake up gasping, hands up in front of him in a fighting stance, with eyes wild and unfocused. Steve woke up immediately and propped up on his elbows instantly, trying to gauge where in his mind Bucky was now.

"Bucky?" Steve asked softly. Bucky's eyes snapped around to look at Steve and his mouth hung open. His gaze melted from being on the offense to a sort of adoring and bewildered expression, breaking Steve's heart; it was as if Bucky couldn't believe what was in front of him, and he was expecting to find out that _this_ was the dream amidst an agony of torture.

Bucky reached a hand out, shakily, and stopped himself short of actually touching Steve. "Steve?" Bucky's voice wavered and his breath hitched in a barely-contained sob.

"Yeah, Buck. It's me. Remember?" Steve murmured, waiting to see if Bucky would snap into a violent mood or break down.

He did neither.

Instead, Bucky's hand continued its path and the pads of his fingers hesitated just over Steve's skin. As soon as he touched him, his palm flattened out against Steve's bare chest. He was frozen for a breath, and then Steve found himself flat on his back with Bucky's weight looming over him.

"Steve?" His voice broke on the name. Bucky's hands were everywhere, touching and exploring and _feeling_ Steve wherever he could reach.

"Yeah, Buck, it's me." Steve breathed out as Bucky's exploring touches got rougher, nails raking against skin and fingers tightening around limbs. Steve groaned at the sharp pang of pain that laced through his right arm when Bucky's metal arm gripped it a little too tight. "I'm here, Bucky. It's me."

"Steve?" Bucky was still staring, wide-eyed and feral, at Steve's face, trailing down over every inch of skin offered. His voice was clearly still confused and a crease between his eyebrows grew more prominent. As was his cock, Steve noticed dimly.

"Steve." Bucky gritted out at the same time that he pushed down onto Steve's shoulders, pinning him to the bed. Bucky stared down hard, and Steve matched his gaze, trying to convey calmness and hoping that Bucky would remember where he was. When he was. Who he was.

"Bucky…" Steve trailed off, trying to think of how he could help the situation, but suddenly his mouth was covered with Bucky's, all hot pressure and biting teeth. Steve groaned again at the force behind Bucky's attack, but he did nothing to stave him off, opting to lie there passively. Bucky grew more and more energetic with his violent kissing, shoving his tongue inside Steve's mouth and moaning loudly when Steve tentatively kissed him back. It didn't take long for Bucky to take over completely, gathering Steve's wrists in one hand and shoving them up above Steve as he took control of the kiss.

Bucky's hips started humping lightly against Steve's thigh, and grew more and more frantic as Bucky trailed bites down Steve's jaw and neck, to reach his chest. Steve bucked up against Bucky's mouth on a particularly hard bite, and that seemed to act as catalyst for Bucky who immediately sprang into action, flipping Steve effortlessly on the bed, and pinning him back down.

Steve grunted at the sudden movement and rough manhandling and froze when he felt his pants being shoved down his legs.

"Bucky?" Steve tried, but the sound came out muffled when a hand pushed his head down. Steve wiggled a little, and realized he could easily escape if he wanted to, but then Bucky murmured something and Steve stopped moving.

"What?" Steve asked, not sure he heard Bucky correctly. He could feel Bucky's hot breath on the back of his neck, and his hard, naked length along the swell of his ass.

"Please don't leave me again, Steve. I can't-" Steve felt Bucky shudder violently and then there was a finger pushing into Steve. Steve bit the pillow at the dry, rough feeling, but Bucky continued whispering as he shoved his finger in deeper.

"I can't lose you again. Please, Steve, not again." With a pang to the gut, Steve realized what Bucky was talking about. Bucky thought he was hallucinating again, effects of the drugs they had given him while in captivity.

This wasn’t the first time that Bucky was trapped in a memory-induced haze, but it was the first time that Bucky had tried anything remotely sexual with him without having talked beforehand; in the past few months since he’d been back, Bucky had had a really hard time coming on to Steve and refused to do anything without having made sure a thousand times that Steve was okay with it. Steve had been relieved at first, and only had recently started hoping they could move past some of the timid hesitation.

This was not the way that Steve had envisioned them going about it, however.

Steve was ripped back to the present when he felt Bucky shove another finger in him, making his eyes burn at the stretch.

“Bucky, wait-” Steve gasped out, fingers curling tightly around the sheets. It hurt, but it hurt more to know that Bucky wasn’t aware of what was going on. It hurt because Steve knew this was going to hurt Bucky more than him in the long run.

Bucky pulled his fingers out and Steve took the opportunity to buck up and twist under Bucky’s weight, effectively unbalancing him to sprawl out on top of Steve. Bucky landed with a hard _woosh_ and then Steve pinned him against his chest, holding tight and squeezing slightly.

He felt as Bucky initially tried to escape Steve’s hold but froze when he said, “Hey, Bucky. Where are you?”

Steve’s breath ghosted along Bucky’s ear, making Bucky shiver, the only movement he made.

He wasn’t even breathing.

“Bucky,” Steve murmured again, calmly coaxing. He kept his grip firm and steady, waiting for Bucky.

“I’m here,” Bucky gasped out finally, “I’m here, Stevie. I’m- I’m- s-sorry. I’m-” Steve gently squeezed again, cutting off Bucky’s increasing gasps.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Steve reassured. “You were just somewhere else there, for a moment.”

Steve relaxed his hold when Bucky started to lift his head. He turned and looked at Steve with wide eyes, “Steve, I just tried to-, to-” He cut himself off, words getting trapped in his throat.

“Nothing I’m not down for, Buck. I just wanted you here with me.” Steve said easily, as if everything had been a minor inconvenience.

Bucky stared at him for a long time, breath still coming out ragged, before smoothly relaxing his face and rolling his eyes.

He dropped his head down onto Steve’s chest, scowling, “Jesus Christ, you’re unbelievable. Fucking ridiculous.”

Steve was taken aback by the sudden mood change, “What? Hey, ow!” Steve brought up a hand to rub at his waist where Bucky pinched him. “What was that for?”

“You self-sacrificing idiot. You wake up in the middle of the night to your best friend trying to rape you, and all you have to say is, ‘it’s okay’? What the actual fuck, man.” Bucky pinched him again, but with considerably less force, and Steve couldn’t hold back a chuckle, letting go of some of his nervous energy.

“Yeah, alright. I get it. I’m a dumbass.” Steve said, relaxing his hold on Bucky and trailing his fingers along his back instead. He traced along the mess of scars along the seam of his left arm where metal meets flesh, bumping over the hard ridges and brushing the softer tissue. The metal covered his stump, fusing effortlessly into his body, and Steve was glad when the reattachment process went smoothly, nothing like when they’d had to take it off.

Bucky hummed and breathed out a great sigh, releasing his excess adrenaline now that the pull of dark memories no longer had a hold on him. Steve was more than happy that he clearly bounced back so quickly from this one. Other nights weren’t so lucky.

“You are.” Bucky finally replied, continuing Steve’s comment. “But you’re my dumbass. You’ve said it enough times, at least.” Bucky’s brow furrowed against Steve’s chest in hesitation for a moment, and this time Steve was the one to lightly pinch at Bucky, making him yelp.

“That’s for doubting.” Steve lightly admonished.

It was tricky. Sometimes Bucky could accept Steve’s reassurances that all of this was real and happening, and other times Bucky refused to believe anything, no matter how much proof Steve showed him. Most days, he’d fall in the middle, where he couldn’t quite believe it, but desperately wanted to. Steve always felt a sense of pride whenever he managed to tip Bucky over to the believing side.

“M’kay. We’re each others’ dumbasses.” Bucky mumbled, and Steve could feel him smile against his skin. He counted tonight as a win.

“Damn right.”

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Bucky wakes up disoriented and tries to have sex with Steve as a way to getting closer, but Steve helps to snap him out of it. 
> 
> And that's a wrap! Sorry it took so long to get out. I'm amazing at procrastination. Thank you for reading!!!


End file.
